Last week I talked about removing the rotten fruit from your bowl. Friends, boyfriends or girlfriends, sometimes even family members need to be cut out of our lives or at least be limited and put on extensive boundaries.
But, if we’re the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with, who do you really spend the most time with? It’s you. It’s yourself. It’s your own inner voices, your own habits, your own self-talk. And that could be the problem.
As trainer and coach I’m a bit of a de facto shrink. Working out brings walls down because you have to focus so much on physical output that mental and emotional barriers come down quickly. When that happens the inner self-talk comes out. I get to hear how people talk to themselves, how they judge themselves, how they see themselves. It’s often so far from truth that, as I have analyzed it in my own life, I can see that it’s not outside voices rotting the bowl, it’s us. We’re rotting our own fruit.
As I hear people talk about their goals, but are unwilling to shift their mindset to achieve them, they often fail to reach their goals and wonder why. They (and I should really say WE because I’m included in this) get in their own way. We shit talk ourselves out of anything and everything we want to accomplish no matter how bad we think we want it or how hard we try or how much we know intellectually it will make us better.
We become so attached to our former or current version of us that anything new, challenging, or even good for us is blocked from ever succeeding because we refuse to let go.
We hold on to our own rotten fruit because it’s ours, it’s familiar, and it’s who we are. We’re so focused on not losing that fruit that we can’t see the new fruit is better. We spend all our energy arguing to keep our bowl of rotting peaches because it’s what we know, that we can’t see the bowl of fresh berries sitting on the counter, there for the taking and good for us. Even if we know it’s there, we still won’t do it. WHY!?!?!
Because it’s different. It’s unfamiliar. I see so many people who refuse to give up familiar discomfort simply because the new possibility is unfamiliar, different, or contrary to what they’ve always “known” or believed to be true.
So take a day. Assess your own thought patterns, your own self-talk. Do you have haters and rotten fruit in your life, or are you your own biggest hater? Are you the one actually holding you back?
Do you have an old identity, an old tape playing from years gone by that is holding you back from a new opportunity to be better? How do you even know? Listen to your own self-talk. Both in your own head and out loud. To yourself and as you talk to other people. Notice it. Take hold of it. And change it to fit the new narrative.
Some key phrases are things like “I just don’t/can’t…” or “I’m not some who…” or “I’m just the kind of person who…” if those or phrases like those come out of your head or mouth and they are followed by something limiting or old, time to take control and start recording new tapes.
If you want the fresh bowl of fruit, you MUST let go of the rotten one.
Until next week; God bless, work hard, and be Excellent!